Thursday, September 29, 2011

adventures in the workplace

so i always laugh at myself at work.

for instance: today i was waiting for the fax machine to send me a confirmation and i was bored. I peered at the screen to see the progress....read a random flyer on the copy room counter....gazed around and i noticed the hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall. Thinking it would be a good time to sanitize my hands since i had nothing better to do, i placed my hand under the dispenser. what happened next i did not expect. A FLOOD OF HAND SANITIZER came rushing out and dripping down my arm. i tried to rub it in just on my hands but they became oversaturated quickly. Before i knew it i was practically showered in hand sanitizer.

or the days where you need one page in the middle of a 114 page document, and you print all 114 pages and you need it like yesterday for your boss who is shouting your name from his office every 5 seconds to find out if you've printed that 1 page, page #111.

Or yesterday when i had to go out and pick up a document from another office "across the street" so my boss said, and i read the address wrong and walked five blocks down when i realized the building was really ACROSS THE STREET.

yesterday was a goodie of a day - i spoke with this secretary/assistant maybe three times for the first time ever in my whole life. I didn't think much of it. we were both lovely people, i mean thats what you do, you're nice to other assistants because we're all in the same boat. if you're an assistant who is nasty to other assistants you're just a miserable b*tch and there is no hope for you. do us all a favor and go work at the DMV. thats where miserable people work. Because in the end all we have is eachother to survive in the workplace.

So anyway, Noreen at 515 Madison Avenue agrees to meet me in the lobby of her building so i can make another pickup. (different from pickup stated above). I arrive in her lobby and wait. I'm trying to remember the description she sent me of herself and figure she'll realize when i am the only one waiting in the lobby that i am waiting for her and she will make herself known. WELL. Noreen comes around the corner on her cell phone. Sees me. Tells the person on her cell phone she'll call them right back. proceeds to RUN, JUMP, HUG ME (dramatic reinactment) kiss me on the cheek and exclaim how happy she is to meet me.

Cue me trying to hide the confusion on my face.

this is just another edition of adventures in the workplace.