Yesterday morning my coworkers and I were discussing my weight loss goals and when I told them where id like to be by April 27th one of them asked me "have you ever been at that weight before?" and i said "maybe when i was in like 5th grade" and she pointed out "so you don't even know what you're going to look like!?"
and then i had a mini inner freak out moment.
My entire life i'd been told "omg what a gorgeous face!" Even though this comes off as half an insult to a fat girl, i would ride this wave of flattery and i'd ride it for as long as i could - after all, my hair and my face were all i really had as a first impression (so sad) before i opened my mouth, which if you know me well, you know i can be shy and quiet at times.
So now i'm like omg, is this weight loss thing going to have to bring an adjustment in my physical appearance?
Mirror, mirror on the wall, i thought i'd be the fairest of them all! will the lesson of its whats on the inside that counts continue to haunt me? Cause b*tch, i am SICK and tired of trying to show my insides to get me more credit. I'd thought this becoming thin thing would be my ticket to anything i wanted in life....Being fat sucks in the society aspect of things.
Or maybe...its my insecurities that's made it suck.
Michelle Cast will tell me my size has never kept me from being who i am or getting things i want. Michelle Cast has a supersize order of confidence.
I think i have a lot of things to work on besides losing the poundage. Losing the poundage is probably the "easiest" of them all. we all know learning the truth about our inner selves and fixing that is the hardest....this blog is a real bummer.
