So we had a wonderful evening hanging out with two great friends of ours. Two people i used to see on a daily basis, 40 hours per week. After recalling some things from our short past of 2-1/2 years as also coworkers there came a lot of feelings.
first of all, i can't believe it was only 2-1/2 years. i feel like i know these girls forever.
second of all, it felt like an eternity that i had worked there.
third of all, i have done a complete 360 since leaving there. 360 degrees now walking in a extremely positive direction.
The third really hit me. I began to feel a lot of regret - and not for the good i remember, the good that i still have in my life, (the people i still keep in touch with) but for so much of the rest of it. The person i was.
I think about how hard it was to leave but yet i look back at that me and that me knew the obvious decision was to break free of it.
So the regret. I regretted getting wrapped up in the social drama of it all. I felt like i had instantly fit in and this was a first for me. It was like i was re-doing high school as a popular kid and i really went with it. In the moment of the regret i couldn't think of anything good about the entire experience. looking back that person was not the happy me that i am now, not even close and it was so sad to my new self.
I wasn't going to bring it up on the ride home but the regret was eating away at me. I turned to mish and thanked her for all her encouragement for me to move onto this new place i am now. And then i told her about my feelings of regret of the past.
Mish shed some light on it like i knew she would explaining to me that it was an important stepping stone. that i wouldn't be able to have gotten this current job had i not worked through those last 2-1/2 years learning lessons both good and bad. learning about myself, learning about how other people work, who to stay away from and how to work it.
I guess its always true, that we are all where we need to be at this moment and the past is there to help shape our future.
I also think the moral of my story is, talk to mish if you ever want to feel better about yourself ;)
